He Did It!
by Sabby-Sama
Summary: The sequel to Destructive Duo! Now packed with even more zany adventures of Zack and Cloud in every chapter!  Rated T for LANGUAGE.
1. Babysitting

He Did It!

Babysitting

**(Note to readers: There is not enough of the laughing gas in whipped cream to actually do anything. This isn't reality, folks. There's stuff in the whipped cream gas that can actually hurt you, so be smart and don't try this at home.)**

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><p>With a final slurred shout of 'Gaia Shore, bitch!' from outside, the door to Seventh Heaven slammed open with the sloppy ferocity only drunks can accomplish. Zack tried shushing Reno, even though the ravenette was the one making all the racket.<p>

Zack giggled madly as he attempted to lean against the nearest table, but failed. He cursed at it and demanded for it to stop skipping around. A squiggly smile appeared on his face again. "Reno! This is Edge, no ocean around here!" Zack sang, sounding like a dehydrated turtle. The redhead just waggled his finger and scrunched up his face in an imitation of Tseng.

The wasted men guffawed at the knee-slapping-worthy action until Zack abruptly stopped as a light flickered on, illuminating a body. They weren't alone.

Zack's face at the pissed Cloud standing before him was the epitome of all faces. It was a mix between 'oh shit, I just got caught drunk after curfew', and guilty while struggling to find an excuse. Not to mention semi-serious, thinking about the oncoming lash of threats brewing in the blonde.

So much for stealthily sneaking in.

The Turk pointed at the blonde and laughed, oblivious (as most drunks are) to the current stare down between the duo. "Haaah! Dude, what up with-?"

Before Reno could finish the sentence, Zack shoved him out the door and clumsily locked it, knowing the redhead would only make things worse.

Tapping an outstretched bunny slipper encased foot, Cloud crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at the ravenette. Trying to keep his expression glued on his face instead of dropping to the floor and shattering due to the wrenching laughs wanting to break free, Zack hung his head.

How can you _not_ laugh at dorky Cloud though? Here he was, pink bunnies on his feet, floral rob on, and a frying pan equipped in his hand. And. . .were those curlers proffesionaly placed in his hair?

Cloud's scowl deepened. "You better not laugh." he demanded and waved the pan menacingly, knowing what Zack was trying to hide.

Zack was silent. "Are those Tifa's hair curlers?" he suddenly asked. He couldn't hold it in anymore and started to howl with laughter. His cheeks (red due to the alcohol) were jiggling. Cloud rolled his eyes but tightened his grip on the handle of the frying pan.

"Do you know how late you are? I told you I was going out with Tifa tonight at eight thirty. You come back drunk, an hour late." the blonde scolded like the typical housewife on her time of the month.

Zack muttered out a meaningless apology.

"No, Zack. I don't want to here 'sorry man.' and then you blaming it all on Angeal, who has nothing to do with this. If anything, I should call him over to have a talk with you about responsibility."

Oh, crap no. That was the Mother of all threats. Angeal always had serious talks with him about _everything_, even pointless things, with the most expressionless look ever. It was always so creepy; especially back a few years ago when the man decided to have 'The Talk' with him (Even though it wasn't needed). It also didn't help that a clueless Sephiroth decided to walk in at that moment. You would swear that the General was locked in a lab for his whole life. The silver haired man didn't even know what a-.

"Zack!" Cloud yelled, trying to get Zack's attention.

"Huh?" Zack asked dumbly, getting snapped out of his foggy drunk thoughts.

Waving the frying pan around as if deciding where to inflict damage on the intoxicated man, Cloud said "You need to be more responsible. I did tell you you were going to watch the kids tonight."

What? When did he agree on this? Blasphemy! "But I- Reno promised free drinks. . ." Zack whined pitifully.

Cloud just stuck his nose in the air, not wanting to hear any more.

"You know, my Grammy used to have glasses like those. . ." Zack thought out loud. From behind his cheesy, feminine cat eye glasses that he only wore at home, Cloud glared at him. Wasn't squinting just going to make his eye sight worse?

"Tifa and I are leaving in ten minutes. Since you're obviously not fit to even change your own underwear," Cloud said and stopped to eye Zack in disgust.

Zack's face flushed darker than it already was. "That was once!"

"Vincent will be in charge." Cloud continued. "Our numbers are written on a sticky note stuck to the kitchen fridge." Cloud finished. With that, he turned on his heel and marched up the stairs.

Ugh, Vincent. The kids needed a better baby sitter; a better role model! And he and Yuffie were the ones.

. . .Now if only he could place his foot in front of the other so he could make it up the stairs. . .

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><p>The minute the door shut behind the exiting couple, devious grins were shared amongst Yuffie, Denzel and Marlene.<p>

Vincent watched them, suspicious about what they were all plotting telepathically. He frowned disapprovingly.

Zack was just in a drunk stupor.

With a sly movement of her hand and a quick wink directed at the kids, Yuffie dashed to the kitchen and the children eagerly followed. Vincent raised an eyebrow and kept a close eye from the doorway. Right when a box of cookie dough mix was removed from the cupboard, Zack's eyes lit up.

sShoving Vincent out of the way, Zack stumbled into the kitchen. If Cloud were still here, he would pick on the ravenettes excitement to bake, saying some witty joke about women in the kitchen.

"Okay. Marlene, get the bowl. Denzel, get everything else." Yuffie instructed. Denzel whined.

"Why do I have to do everything?" Why did his aunt treat Marlene like she was a saint? Because that little girl was a demon in disguise!

Yuffie turned and pointed a whisk at the boy who was slowly starting to reach her height. "You want cookies, right?"

Denzel nodded.

"Then shaddup and help!" the ninja said, perfectly mimicking Cid. Denzel quietly obeyed while Marlene stifled a giggle.

Tripping on an imaginary dust bunny, Zack hauled himself up and brought his head down, perched his chin on Yuffie's thin shoulder. She flinched. "Gods, Zack! Get your bony chin out of my shoulder. That hurts!" she complained and attempted to shank him with a gallon of milk. Just to be a punk, Zack put more pressure on her shoulder and moved his jaw. Yuffie stomped on his toe.

"Get your bony shoulder out of my chin!" Zack retorted. Finally, he was sent sprawling on the floor by Yuffie as he groaned in pain and clutched his knee. "I just wanted to help make cookies!" he cried out.

Vincent snorted and shook his head from his spot against the open doorway. If there was one thing the demonic man knew, it was never to sass Yuffie. He learned that when he said something about high heels, only to get one chucked at his head. He thoughtfully rubbbd his left ear with his claw. Thank Gods he still has it after that incident.

The pint-sized ninja somehow managed to successfully create the dough, swatting Zack's grubby hands from it in the process.

Once the tray with the disfigured blobs were inserted into the oven, Marlene shouted, "Lets play hide and seek!"

"Yeah!" Denzel agreed excitedly. "Uncle Vincent, play with us!" he urged the man.

Vincent shook his head. "I can't play." he replied, breaking the childrens' hearts. Marlene's lip started to tremble, which got to the steely Vincent Valentine.

He simply pointed to his shoes; his clack-ity, metallic clunkers that can still be heard from underwater.

"But that'd make it easy to find you!" Marlene said sweetly, despite the predatory glint in her eye.

Vincent shook his head, trying to conceal how scary he thought that comment was. What would happen if she found him? Tie him up in jump rope and force him to play dolls with her? Try to squeeze him into her nine year-old fashions?

Shrugging, Marlene demanded that Yuffie count and then find her and Denzel. And Zack, when he begged to be included.

Yuffie went over to the corner and began to count slowly to twenty. Just like that, the two children (and one drunk) hurried off to find some tiny nook to cram themselves into.

A whole, whopping fourty five minutes later, Yuffie had successfully rounded up the young ones. It wasn't her best record, but at least she didn't lose the kids again.

She had found Denzel hidden behind Marlene's over-sized stuffed animals, his black sock sticking out amongst the pink and white fluffiness. While Marlene somehow convinced Vincent in letting her hide inside his giant cape.

Now all that was left was finding that annoying little drunk...

Where could he possibly be hiding? It's unnatural for Zack to be this quiet. If the ravenette were sober and playing, you'd be able to hear his heavy snot-filled breathing and blatantly see him hiding behind a wilting potted plant.

But now, he was silent. And dangerously clever for his own good. The man was DRUNK for God's sake! This is also Zack we're talking about! How is that humanly possible?

"Hey, Zack." Yuffie called as she stalked down the upstairs hall, flanked by Denzel and Marlene. "We have whipped cream in the fridge." she called temptingly, the idea suddenly popping into her head.

Denzel tapped Yuffie on the arm. "What's whipped cream have to do with anything?" he whispered. She grinned.

"Remember that time you went to the dentist? And got doped up on that gas?" she continued. Yuffie could practically sense Zack's ears perking up from wherever he was hidden. This was definitely going to work. "Well, the gas in the whipped cream does that same thing!"

Almost immediately, a creak and a shatter was heard from downstairs as Zack raced to the kitchen.

"Wow, Auntie Yuffie!" the young girl cried at her aunt's cleverness. "Uncle Cid lied when he called you a-" Marlene started, only to have Yuffie cover her mouth to prevent the young girl from parroting the pilot's colorful language.

Once going down the stairs to catch the drunken man redhanded, they heard Vincent shouting from the kitchen.

"No, Zack. Bad Puppy." the demonic man shouted, oddly emotionless.

A bizarre snarling sound answered Vincent. Yuffie cautiously peered her head around the corner to the kitchen, hands flying to her knee high boots in search for her shuriken. She just might have to pin whatever was growling at her Vinnie if it tried to eat her sexy vamp.

Zack was plopped in the corner of the kitchen, legs kicking at a peacefully advancing Vincent while clutching a can of whipped cream in his arms. A wild look was in his eyes as if he were a mad man seeing hallucinations of dancing pink mice trying to stab at him with sewing needles.

"You can't take it, I won't let you!" Zack shouted, throat sounding clogged from whipped cream. He lifted the nozzle up to his mouth and pressed the tip, can upwards. A hiss of air escaped from the colorful aluminum only to get sucked into the ravenettes mouth. He then proceeded to actually shoot some whip cream into his mouth.

The result was a mess.

Zack continued to gargle out incomprehensible sentence fragments, spewing out globs of cream in the process. Vincent tried to reason with him as if telling him not to jump off the bar's roof ledge.

"Hey Marlene, do you smell that?" Denzel asked the brown haired girl next to him. She sniffed the air.

"Oh my gosh!" she squealed, eyes round. "Auntie Yuffie, the cookies!"

It was then that the little ninja smelled chocolate chip cookies being incinerated to a crisp.

As she rushed to the oven, the fire alarm went off. An unholy chorus of screeching and beeping echoed throughout the building, which complemented Zack's insane cries.

"Shit, OW!" Yuffie seethed and glared at the oven for burning her as she frantically reached inside to withdraw the deliciously blackened fire hazards.

"That's bad for you!" Vincent shouted at Zack as he continued to suck in the precious gas like a fish would with water.

"Get the fire extinguisher!" Denzel shouted to Marlene. Marlene tripped over a stray cooking utility in the way of the bar's fire extinguisher and face-planted into the tile, only to get a minor nose bleed. She started to cry.

"Fucking Zack, you idiot!" Yuffie screamed. It was his fault that the house almost burned down! If it wasn't for him being drunk he would have been a clumsy elephant during hide and seek, making him easier to find. She snatched a cooking utility and chucked it at the ravenettes head.

He yowled and clutched his head, dropping the can only to have it roll into Vincent's claw.

They were all busy with stopping their own bits of chaos that they didn't hear the door creak open.

As soon as he stepped in, Cloud shut his eyes and held a clenched fist to his forehead, slightly pounding himself with it at what was happening infront of him.

"I knew letting Zack into the bar was a bad idea. I should have just left him outside like a hobo." he muttered to himself, as Tifa gasped and hurried over to stop an injured Marlene's blood loss.

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><p><strong>After a long wait, I present to you all the sequel to Destructive Duo; "He did it!" I would have typed it up sooner but everythings just been so hectic lately. I'd like to thank my Beta, Lartovio (who also Beta-ed Destructive Duo) for editing this chapter for me and hopefully the rest of the series! I have so many promises for this story and I just have ideas <em>pouring<em> out of my ears (as nasty as that sounds xD) Hopefully I'll be able to continue this with all those plot bunnies with some motivation from reviews :)**

**~Sabby-Sama**


	2. Whats a job?

What's a 'job'?

There was a little boo-boo at the bar/home where Cloud and Zack lived.

. . .Okay, maybe a minor accident.

Who are we kidding? There's no such thing as "minor" when Zack and Cloud are involved. For example, the time they caused a city-wide blackout in Edge. Their neighbors were not so happy about that one, if getting glares -and lethal stones- thrown at them were any indication. But thankfully, this time it's actually minor compared to the last disaster.  
>The garage blew up, was all.<p>

Once again, thankfully nobody was hurt, not even Cloud's precious Fenrir. The only negative thing that came out of having the garage explode in a ball of flame was that the garage had to be repaired.

And that took money. Money that wasn't currently available.

"You really need to get a job, Zack." Aerith said to her raven haired boyfriend.

Zack's mouth dropped in disbelief. A _job? _The word's "job" and Zack don't work well in a sentence together. It's unheard of; unethical! "No, no I don't!" He protested stubbornly. "I am perfectly fine with sitting on the couch for the rest of my life, eating Snowballs as I please." he pouted

Aerith sighed and shook her head while Tifa, standing beside her, glared defiantly at Zack. "You're getting a job and that's final, Zack!" Tifa said.

"But why?" Zack moaned.

"You obviously know why. Or have you already forgotten how the garage outside now lies in rubble because of you?" Tifa asked, arms crossed.

_Crap, I thought she would have forgotten about that by now. . . _Zack thought stupidly. If anyone was going to bust his chops it would be Tifa. Cloud would yell at him, but brush it off eventually. Aerith simply didn't have the heart. All the other adults in the home were useless.

Despite his connections with the violent combustion of the garage, Zack defended himself "I was nowhere near the garage when it exploded!"

Tifa rolled her eyes. "Yep, you're right. It was all Cid and Marlene's fault." She said sarcastically.

Well, that was half true, but not entirely. What happened was this; Marlene came home from school, assigned to build a volcano for an important project grade. The only logical thing to do was to go to Uncle Cid the Science Kid. Because just face it, if you gave the guy a wrench, some nuts and bolts and told him to knock himself out in an airplane hanger, he'll look like a kid in a candy store. Science was his thing.

For some reason, Marlene though it'd be best to create her little science project in the garage. Something about lots of space. Cid and Marlene left the finished project in there while they went to get a snack (after _Cid_ was the one who did all the work, of course).

Zack for some odd reason had the need to go into the garage - no doubt to fiddle with something belonging to Cloud. Upon seeing the cone of plaster slabbed with neon colored paint perfectly unfitting for a volcano, he decided to fiddle with that instead. Zack must have knocked some kind of vehicle liquid into the top of the science project and began to react with the baking soda already placed inside. Shrugging, an oblivious Zack left to go play a new video game he got, only to hear the loud boom and everything shake from the late reaction between the powder and liquid.

"Yes, exactly!" Zack said.

"Zack, stop being difficult" Aerith said softly. Zack began to plead with her, using his eyes. She began to laugh, but stopped herself. She took on a more serious look.

"But- OKAY, fine!" Zack caved in as he threw up his arms. "But if I need to get a job, so does Cloudy. I'm not doing this alone."

Tifa thought about that. Cloud hasn't been getting any jobs lately for his delivery service. And he was only a part timer in SOLDIER, which wasn't as beneficial as going out full time.

She held out her hand to meet Zack's and shook it. "Fine then, it's a deal." she grinned. Aerith gasped.

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><p>They thought they'd never see the day where Zack Fair would have to actually work.<p>

Despite the economy, it was relatively easy for Zack and Cloud to find a job. Barret's friend Dyne knew a guy who had a daughter who just married some dude whose uncle owned a fast food joint. McMako's, to be exact.

When Zack and Cloud were filling out their applications, Zack said the dumbest thing. "Hey, you know what they should add to these things?" he asked while he waved the page around.

Cloud ignored him as he X- ed the box for Male and began to write in his contrasting girly cursive.

"They should add another pair of check boxes." Zack continued anyways, unfazed at his existence going unacknowledged. "One for skinny and the other for fat."

At this, Cloud dropped his lime green pen and stared at Zack through his cat-eye glasses. "What?" he asked in disbelief. What had prompted this random thought? It was almost laughable at how serious Zack's face looked.

"You know, skinny and fat?" Zack continued as he began to doodle in the corner of the application. Godzilla chomping on a defenseless chocobo."Only the fat people would get accepted."

Cloud put his hand on his forehead in a way that shielded his eyes as he peered at Zack from underneath, as if fending off the beginnings of a headache. "_Why_ would they do that?" he asked dully with uninterested eyes. This was just the most stupid thing to ever come out of Zack's unbrushed mouth.

"Am I the only one who noticed how hefty the people at fast food places are? It can't be a coincidence."

"Just shut up and finish filling out your info." Cloud said blankly as he capped his pen and left.

* * *

><p>"Welcome to McMako's!" Zack chirped happily at the gloomy looking customer. The man mumbled his order darkly and reached into his trench coat to pull out some crumpled bills.<p>

Cloud watched in amusement, and slight fear, as Zack's bubbly personality opposed that of the extremely shady looking character.

As the man stumbled away with his container of twenty chicken nuggets and an abundant supply of ketchup, Zack bounded up to Cloud.

"I like this job!" He exclaimed with a grin.

_Of course you do. Annoying all day and getting paid for it is just up your alley._ Cloud thought. He thought of that poor teenage girl from earlier. Zack jabbered and jabbered excitedly about what types of sauce went best with what value meal. And then that older man. . .Zack babbled about how he made his own special sauce from combining assortments of condiments, like the eighty something year-old had a minute of his life to spare.

How did everything come back to the topic of condiments, anyways?

The lunch crowd thinned out until the whole fast food restaurant was deserted. It was just Cloud and Zack. The guy who was supposed to be training them, Jeff, was in the backroom napping. He just so happened to be fat.

Cloud was wiping down some icky-sticky tables while Zack laid on the counter, completely bored.

"Zack, get off the counter. That's gross." Cloud spoke from the other end of the restaurant like a broken record.

Zack lazily obliged as he slid off it and onto the floor, leaving a pile of black hair on the counter. He sporadically scratched the back of his head. Ever since he started to use Aerith's mysterious pink shampoo out of curiosity, it had been irritating his scalp. But it was worth it. His hair smelt like a floral waterfall now.

Dragging himself up, Zack began to play with the deep fryer. As he rested his elbow on the edge and put his face in his hands, a string of black hair floated down through the air and plopped into the heated oil.

It sizzled and was immediately encased in a golden crust.

Zack gaped in wonder at the spectacle before his eyes. This just had to be the greatest invention ever!

Cloud began to hear some strange sounds coming from the kitchen. Putting away his cleaning supplies, he went to go investigate.

Zack was hunched over the deep fryer, sloppily dropping items inside while the dangerous, skin melting oil splashed out everywhere.

"Zack?" Cloud called cautiously. The witch-like cackle that escaped the body in front of him just minutes prior did not belong to his idiotic friend.

"Yeeees?" Zack said as he turned slowly around to stare into Cloud's eyes. A creepy smile was on his face as his eyebrows with arched up, looking frozen in their current state. Zack dropped what appeared to be a plastic fork into the fryer.

Cloud shifted uneasily as he eyed the ladle laying beside the deep fryer containing the oil that could boil your skin off the bone. He had to word his sentences carefully. In Zack's current state, the ravenette just might scoop some of that oil out and fling it at the blondes perfect, pale skin.

"Whatcha doin'?" Cloud gulped hoarsely.

Instead of answering him, the possessed Zack turned back to the holy fryer. After dropping another something inside and fishing it out with the wire basket, Zack shoved the crispy thing in Cloud's face. "Try it!" Zack demanded in a demonic snarl strangely filled with uncontrollable glee. Cloud went cross-eyed as he tried focusing on the lumpy piece of something thrust in front of his nose.

Carefully edging his nose away from the object and it's peculiar scent, Cloud shook his head. "No thanks, I'm go-!"

Zack cut him off my shoving the fried object down his throat, effectively crushing his windpipe. Cloud gagged from a collection of things; not being able to breathe, trying to cough the thing back up, and the alien taste.

"What _is_ this?" Cloud struggled to croak as he attempted to give himself the Heimlich. The thing successfully shot of his throat and landed on a tray of fresh fries, now a ball of slime.

"I rolled a chicken nugget in some cheese, mashed up some fries, and smushed that inside the cheese. After that I went to the bathroom to get some paper towels to wipe off my hands, but I tripped and dropped the nugget in the toilet. I fished it out and then I fried it and shoved it in your face." Zack concluded his scientific report.

If Cloud wasn't stunned in complete and utter disgust, he would have run to the supply closet for the disinfectant spray. Who cares if consuming the stuff was toxic and hazardous? That disgusting concoction was probably ten times more poisonous!

Zack proceeded to swipe a stray fry cook apron off a nearby hook and whipped it over his shoulders, fashioning what resembled a cape.

Instead of his earlier, mad demon phase, Zack switched to that of a crazed wizard, concocting some form of diabolically hideous fast food item.

He began to bark out orders. "Cloud. Hand me some of those Makky Meal toys." Zack demanded as he started to spritz something into the oil. Was that the nozzle for the soda? "Make sure you bring a lot. I want to bring some home with me at the end of the day."

Cloud didn't know what to do. The last thing he wanted was for the dumb little cheap plastic toys to somehow blow up the fast food place, too. ". . .No." Cloud said.

The raven haired 'wizard' turned around, an eyebrow raised.

"Excuse me?" Zack growled. Cloud instantly bristled. This was getting _weird. _Like, Twilight Zone weird.

Cloud cleared his throat. "No?" he squeaked, unsure of himself.

A rage-filled manic scream escaped Zack's mouth as he swung the ladle Cloud was eyeing earlier at him. "GIVE ME MY TOYS!"

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><p><strong>I swear, I was planning on typing this way sooner then I did, honest! D: I've been so busy lately with school that I couldn't get around to typing it when I should have. Again, SORRY! Hopefully this chapter makes up for it, though? Credit to Botoingness for the fast food idea! Leave a review to keep "He did it!" going long and strong!<strong>

**PS: Any Spirited away fans in the house? If so, check out my new story "A Fierce Dragon's Delicate Flower"!**

**~Sabby-Sama**


	3. THE RETURN of Tidbits of Randomness!

Tidbits of Randomness

**Why Cloudy Is Mean.**

**By Zack, with love!**

1.) He's a fun-sucker!

When Cloud walks into a room, even a room filled with clowns and children celebrating a birthday, it becomes as sad and depressing as a morgue. It's so creepy. _And_ when I have an epic idea on a dull Saturday. He brushes it off saying someone might get killed. Like REALLY? xP

2.) It's his goal in life to make me pee my pants.

Right while I'm running to the bathroom room, doing the potty-dance in the process, he'll oh-so conveniently round the corner and slam the door in my face. Right before he does, I can swear on my life that there's an evil little smirk on his dumb face. As I'm about to humuliate my self by letting the walls of the dam break loose, he walks out of the bathroom. AS IF HE JUST GOT OUT OF THE HAIR SALON. He could have done his hair in the kitchen! D:

3.) What ever happened to sweet, gullible Cloudy?

I remember how innocent Cloud used to be. Like, back when we played that trick on Tseng. Remember that readers? He's cruel and heartless now. D: Like Angeal on a 'bad muscele day'. Whatever that means.

4.) He's a bully.

He calls me fat. Stupid. Dumb. And an idiot. I'm not that fat! Ever since he enforced that new 'attempt eating a Snowball, I'll slap you in the face' rule, I've lost that little bit of flab I was gaining. Even everyone else in the household had to report me sneaking a bite of some goodies! I didn't even feel safe in my own home. :(

5.) He hates emoticons.

There you go. The best reason on here. Only souless people hate emoticons. :[

6.) If he see's my portion of this list. . .

I'm going to get locked in a pair of shackles and super glued to the giant monument in Edge's square. Butt naked.

7.) Oh, by the way!

We have to make a list of ten things we don't like about one another/reasons why we get on each others nerves. It's a demand from Tifa as a way to show our feelings. Since we put our first and only therapist in a neck brace. . .

8.) :D

Sorry about that last one, but I just saw a spider spinning a web and I got unfocused. Not to mention that I squealed and launched Cloud's motorcylce boot at it. (Shh! If he finds out I'll get whipped while I'm super glued to that monument)

9.) Did I ever tell you about the time. . .

Where Cloud embarrassed me in front of Denzel and Marlene teachers? Well, it was their Open House and we were forced to go. He told their teachers that I wasn't fit to help them with homework. But that's not it. The reason why I wasn't 'fit' to was because I went scuba diving in the mall's water fountain for nickels! WHY would he tell them that? It was only supposed to be between me, him, and the mall's security guard that beat me up that day!

10.) Well, PEACE!

I'm done with this dumb thing. Time to give it to Tifa and hope she doesn't show Cloud. I'm off to go play hop scotch with Marlene and an unwilling Barett!

**Why Zack doesn't deserve to be on this Planet.**

**-By Cloud.**

1.) HE'S AN IDIOT.

HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AND IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AND IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AND IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AND IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AND IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT. HE'S AND IDIOT. HE'S AN IDIOT.

2.) He'll be the Harbinger of Death to everyone in Edge.

Once coming home from the Wutainese Buffet I have to lock him in the supply closet, the only company he has for the next 3 hours being a moldy mop. If I don't, he'll choke everyone with his atom bomb farts.

3.) HE'S GIVING ME STRESS.

It's like looking after a hopelessly confused chicken with it's head chopped off. Denzel and Marlene are way more matured than their uncle; to the point where they can teach him simple math. And STILL struggle with getting it through his dense skull. I can feel the grey hairs coming on. . .

4.) He whines too much.

All Zack does is complain about me being mean, a bully, and a fun-sucker. Or a mean fun-sucking bully. Excuse me if I act my age instead of my unnaturaly low IQ. Cough cough.

5.) No hygiene.

He's a complete slob. He never flsuhes the toilet and there's no doubt in my mind he doesn't wash his hands, too. Zack's side of his room. . .it's a landfill. Pig's would be offended if I called it a sty. I even bought him one hundred and fifty Gil's worth of gum and mints for his birthday last year. He's such an idiot that he didn't pick up on the hint.

6.) Zack is a pest.

He's so clingy! One day I was in the kitchen making some lunch and he comes up behind me, perched over my shoulder and breathing down my neck. Just watching me waiting for a TV dinner to be finished in the microwave. His hovering habit is going to kill me one of these days.

7.) Idea's.

We've gotten into some deep crap (not to mention a couple lawsuits against us) because of him. Destructive Duo was just the beginning of what I mean.

8.) Pranks.

This one sorta goes hand in hand with 7. But it's probably 13 times worse. How, you ask? He thinks it's funny to startle me out of a deep sleep, only to freak out about the possibility of going deaf.

. . . Because of how he has speakers situated near my ears on full blast, playing some of Yuffie's trashy pop noise. Noise, not music; I repeat. Thats how much I hate it, and he knows that.

9.) I thought I'd just post another one of these. . .

Another one of Zack's "pranks" was the time he decided it'd be funny to wax my head the time I dozed off on the couch. I was secretly traumatized by that and didn't sleep for the next week, since Zack decides to spring his tortue upon me when i'm trying to get some rest and completely vulnerable.

10.) 'Till next time! -NOT-

I hated doing this. I was forced by Tifa. If I didn't obey her, she wouldn't feed me for the next month. And anyways, I have to seek out Zack's part of the list. I swear, when I find out what he's written about me. . .

* * *

><p><strong>I thought I'd bring back the TOR's for "He did it!" this time wiht a different take x] what did you awesome readers think? Like I promised, I uploaded this way sooner than last time. Hopefully I'll get the next one up sooner though since I want to get rolling with this!<strong>

**~Sabby-Sama**


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